3rd Trimester… Stretch Marks and Anxiety!

Yes it is official, we are in the 3^rd trimester finally! Yes I have my first stretch mark on my stomach (I knew it was going to happen but I was hoping to postpone it just a little while longer). Yes I have anxiety… we can get to that later!

This has been a rough week for me. I really feel pregnant now. My stomach is cramping; normal I am sure. So this keeps me from doing too much. I have very little energy. I want to clean and organize and I do for about 30 min and then I am pooped and need to sit. My hip is flirting with the idea of popping out of the socket (I know great image). My back pain has increased quite a lot. I am carrying Michael way out front. It kind of surprises me since my hips are big enough to hold him in there a little haha! I hate feeling this way since I just want to get stuff done! I am running out of time so I am hoping to get some help from Joe here in the near future… I need it!

Oh and the stretch marks… it is hereditary so I get to thank my mom… so Thank You Mom :) It’s just a little one right now but it’s just a matter of time until it gets bigger and they start to multiply. It comes with the territory I guess. I am continuing to lather on the lotion to keep them at bay but so far it’s not working.

On Friday, Joe and I went to the Birth Center. I had to get my Rhogam shot and take the 1-hour glucose test. Terrible day let me say. Not one but 2 needles. First one… ok but the fact that I had a 2^nd one coming pushed me over the edge and I was in tears. I know call me a baby but this is precisely why I am avoiding Hospitals at all costs. I want nothing to do with them! I called to get the results on Monday. I passed the glucose test (YAY!!). My Iron levels have decreased a little (12.7 in sept. and 12 in jan.). I just have to add a little more iron to my diet. Too bad the best food item with iron is oysters (yuck)! So I will have to get creative as to where I find it.

Now onto my high anxiety levels... I am sure you are thinking that I am anxious for the delivery. Not yet! I am sure it will come eventually but right now I am at peace with the route Joe and I have chosen to go. I am more anxious about after Michael’s is born and the mass visitors. I mean this is really getting to me. I am losing sleep and there are times I just can’t stop crying. Are you kidding me?!?! I can’t believe I’m admitting that I am a nut but I blame it on the hormones. But seriously… I get so overwhelmed with crowds. I have heard from some friends that the first few days can be a little hard to get used to. Especially since we are sent home so soon after the delivery (no complaints because I would rather be in my own bed than any other bed).  I want to enjoy my visitors and not be upset while they are here. Is this making sense or am I rambling?

This is what I am picturing, I am picturing Joe and I coming home from the Birth Center to a relaxed environment, introducing Aria to Michael. I know the first few days are going to be rough and we are going to get little to no sleep (or at least I will not get much sleep). So I am sure there will be some tensions in the air but both Joe and I get cranky when we are tired. I want to hold my baby and cuddle with my baby while cuddling with Joe. I want to watch Joe with Michael and photograph him! I envision Joe and I laughing and enjoying Michael as we learn to bath him and avoid his peeing while changing his diaper.  This is our first baby and we will never get to experience our first baby ever again and I want to enjoy it. I don’t mean to sound selfish but I want to hold my baby; I don’t think I’m going to want to pass him off most of the day to visitors except for when he needs fed. Don’t get me wrong a few visitors is one thing but the whole day, everyday? I am just afraid that other’s expectations may be high or even unrealistic. That is one upside to a hospital… there are visiting hours :) My anxiety is stemming from all the things that could alter these visions. I feel like I am a crazy person but this has been bothering me since December. I just figured it would work itself out but it has come to the point where I can’t sleep. This consumes my mind almost all day. I have had conversations with 2 friends and they both have assured me that what I am feeling is not out of the ordinary. In fact if they had to do it all over again they may/would have done things differently. Laying down some ground rules, gaining a sense of stability before too many out of town guests… I just feel like Joe and I are a little lost in this. Hell, I don’t even think we know what we want yet. We both have said what we want to other people but not to each other. We have talked a little about it and have come to some decisions but we are not done with that conversation yet. There is still more to discuss. This is so stressful and I just don’t know how to handle it. I was told today that there is a counselor at the Birth Center and to my understanding it is free to use her. I am seriously considering going for a visit with Joe. Hmmm… we shall see…

Anyway, onto Michael

By this week, Michael weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of his head to his heels. He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. With his eyesight developing, he may be able to see the light that filters in through my womb. Michael’s also developing billions of neurons in his brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.