Midnight Panic

So I am having a mini panic attack right now... I tried calling Joe and I always hound him to keep his phone off or silent when he is sleeping because people call him and wake us both up at crazy hours in the morning... and of course I am calling at 1:30 like a crazed pregnant woman and need to talk to my husband and he is not answering. I am not mad of course... if we didn't get non-emergency phone calls waking us up on days off this wouldn't even be a problem in the first place... so of course that's not helping the situation... I doubt writing in this stupid blog is even going to help. I can't talk about what’s bothering me in fear of upsetting people. The only person who can calm me down at this point is going to be Joe or even Ash and they are both sleeping... oh the joys of hormones. I am sure this is something silly to worry about since I have already talked to Ash about it but I just can't seem to sleep. My breath is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears of anxiety. I have just been a ball of vent this whole day. Who am I kidding; I have been a venting machine for weeks now. I just can’t understand it. All I want to do is go to bed; it is going to be a long day tomorrow with Dad’s party and all and I just can’t shut my mind off long enough to fall asleep. I know that eventually I will just get so tired that I will pass out but that moment can not come soon enough.