Silently freaking out…

Labor has never scared me… in fact I have know for many years that a natural child birth is the way I am planning to go. The pain doesn’t scare me… Of course it is going to hurt and I understand that. What scares me to know end is not being able to control my experience…

For those of you that truly know me should not be surprised to find out I like to plan and control everything. I would love to have a home birth but Joe won’t agree to that. So now I am working towards meeting in the middle.

Here is what I know I want/don’t want:

•  I do not want an Epidural.
•  I do not want to be hooked up to any machines (blood pressure cuff, fetal heartbeat and contraction monitors, IV etc…)
•  I want to be able to eat and drink if I so choose.
•  I want to be able to move around, walk, change positions etc.
•  I would like to have the option of being in water as a relaxation technique.
•  I need to have doctors, nurses and my entire support group to truly be there for me and not doubt my choice.

I have spoken to a Doula and she has informed me that Beaufort’s Birthing Center does not support a drug free birth. What I mean by that is the majority of women who go in there opt for the “DRUGS”. My Doctors on the other had have told me that they support the natural labor… so I have conflicting ideas and I need to find out the truth! I met a woman yesterday that has gone through 2 natural labors… one of which was at Beaufort. She mentioned her frustrations of this hospital and now I am even more against using them. They were very adamant on her keeping the monitors on as well as the blood pressure cuff. Although at some points it wasn’t so bad to have on, during a contraction the last thing you want is your blood pressure cuff to go off or the elastic monitor bands to remain tightly snug around your contracting uterus. Silently I was freaking out as she is telling me all this (don’t worry Julie I am not upset… in fact I really appreciate everything you said… the more information I have the better my decision will be!)

When I don’t feel good (and I suspect that when I am in labor I am not going to feel that great) I prefer to be home in my own house. I thought the perfect compromise was to labor at home with a Doula and then when things have progressed we make out way to the hospital. But now I’m not sure if that’s even the best decision. Once at the hospital I am not going to want to be hooked to machines but this in inevitable I am afraid. I had a dream last night that I lashed out at the nurses in the hospital and they tied me to the bed and Joe didn’t do a thing about it… So now I am even more afraid UGH!

There is a birthing center in Savannah that I have heard is fabulous from many people including the Doula I talked to. My fear here is what if after 20 hours of labor I am doubting myself and want the drugs… also, the doctors that we have been seeing for the last few weeks won’t be the one to deliver the baby. Unfortunately Joe is no help when I try and talk to him because he just wants me to go to the hospital. So I am all alone in this decision I feel.

OK so that’s about it! I am done venting. I will keep you all updated.

*** Please note that if something were wrong with me or the baby all those things will go out the window and I will succumb to being hooked up to and IV, monitors, cuff… and what not!

15 Weeks

It has been an eventful week… her we go!       

I have been battling the dizziness for the past week. It hasn’t been as bad as last Tuesday but there have been a few days where I had to take the medication that was prescribed. I have not had any dizzy spells for about 3 days so that is good news! I do carry my meds with me just in case!

Wednesday was pretty funny… well at least I thought so! About 1 ½ months ago Joe got pulled over (for the 4^th time in a year… but that’s a different story). He ended up getting 2 tickets (unbeknownst to me); one for speeding and one for failure to show proof of insurance. So our evening was supposed to be spent going to Target but here is what really happened?

Joe comes racing through the door at 4:45pm. As it turns out his ticket needed to be paid by 5:00pm today. He is running around the house throwing civilian clothes on and once dressed we run out the door. He does his best to not speed to the courthouse and we rolled in at 4:58pm. Perfect timing (one would think). As it turns out there are 6 different courthouses in Beaufort County and we were at the wrong one… so at 5:02pm he called the correct courthouse and they gave him till 5:10pm to get there and pay the ticket. So off to Port Royal we go to pay this darn thing. So we get there in time and Joe goes in to take care of business… so I thought. He comes back to the car and reveals to me that he has to make a court appearance that night at 6:00pm. First off it is a good thing he realized that this darn ticket was due otherwise we would be in Bluffton and dealing with arrest warrants! They had no problem letting Joe pay the speeding ticket but in order for him to get out of the 2^nd ticket about his insurance he had to stand in front of the judge and prove he has insurance.

So 6:00pm rolls around and Joe and I are in the courtroom. I am loving every minute of it. He was so nervous (you can tell because he doesn’t shut up!). I was looking forward to watching him walk up there and deal with the judge… jokes on me because we learned the protocol. Any person attending the court hearing with their loved one or friend must come up to the front and stand up there with them. Joe got a good laugh on that! There are so many crazies in Beaufort County first off. The judge was hysterical! One girl pled not guilty to running a stop sign… he asked the cop what happened and she told her story. They he asked the girl what happened and she told her side of the story. The judge goes “those stories don’t match do they officer?... I find you guilty!” Another woman goes up there and plead not guilty to her reckless driving. So the judge asked the cop what happened. I guess she was coming up over one side of the bridge and the cop was coming up the other side of the bridge. She must not have been paying attention because she crossed over the double yellow line and was headed straight for the cop. If the cop hadn’t swerved she would have hit him head on… the woman excuse was “I reaching to the back seat to try and give my baby his bottle”. So the Judge goes (and I am serious!)… “Well you could have killed all three of you… I find you guilty!” So by this point I think Joe was getting pretty nervous! Lucky for him when his name was called it was very simple and painless; all he had to do was show his insurance card… maybe he will learn to keep it in his car :)

The rest of the week was pretty good! My parents came into town to help with a few projects around the house. We got the closet door curtains up in our room and my dad and Joe put together a window desk that hangs from the wall. Its fabulous and I can’t wait to use it to scrapbook! Its always so fun to have my parents visit! This whole growing up thing and not seeing them on a regular basis is hard… I wish we could live closer together… maybe one day!

So the baby is getting bigger inside the belly everyday! It’s amazing that we are 15 weeks into this thing! Here is what’s going on this week:

Our growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces about the size of an apple or an orange. She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If we shine a flashlight at my tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for our baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if we have an ultrasound this week (which we are not), we may be able to find out whether our baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down our baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on our baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

14 Weeks... Hello 2nd trimester

Hello 2^nd Trimester…. I thought things were supposed to get easier from here!

I woke up this morning with really bad dizziness. Laying down, sitting, walking… I felt dizzy all the time. My Mama told me to call the Doctor and just ask if this was normal. Well as it turns out they wanted to see me at the office. One problem though; driving wasn’t the best idea for me. So poor Joe had to leave work early to come get me and take me. He was a good sport though… I think he was just a bit worried to be honest :)

So they took my blood pressure, 106/68… normal. When I felt dizzy it went down a little to 100/58… which is still normal so they weren’t concerned about that. My blood sugar was 70 so that was normal. And I’m not anemic; also good news! So they were a little stumped. They prescribed a pill to keep the vertigo at bay but so far it has yet to kick in. They mentioned that if it doesn’t go away they might refer me to a neurologist… this could be interesting! I am optimistic… I am sure it’s just the crazy hormones!

I have been home editing photos all day. I originally had a big day planned with errands and cleaning and preparing for the garage sale but none of that happened. I might try and do some stuff after I have a little dinner. We shall see!

So week 14 is bringing about many changes with the baby…

Our baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if we were having an ultrasound now, we may even catch him sucking his thumb.

In other news: Our baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches – about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Our baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though I can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, our little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

Week 13

It has been a good week... the nausea has subsided so I am able to eat more of a variety! So that is very exciting. Joe and I got to spend some time with his parents. Of course there is never enough time to visit. Hopefully we can make a trip up there in November!

I shot an 8 hour wedding on Sunday. That took a lot out of me. No big surprise I'm sure! Lucky for me, Joe rubbed my feet that night which helped a great deal. Joe didn't have to work on Monday because of Columbus Day so we had a relaxing day here at the house.

Tuesday we went to Charleston for a blood/ultrasound test to check for down syndrome in the baby. We should get the results back next week so stay tuned! The ultrasound was so much fun! It took about 30 min because the baby was stubborn and not turning the way the tech need it to. Kind of funny but we loved just watching the baby on the screen. It is so much bigger now! Heart rate was 158 bpm. It was moving around and kicking...even hiccuping! Joe was talking to the baby trying to convince it to lay flat... his alternative motive was a milkshake after the appointment! He even tried to bribe the baby, I will buy you a new pair of shoes... didn't work... I will buy you a new video game... that worked! We had a lot of fun!

Here are some pictures from the ultrasound...  

The baby hs its arm behind its head lounging!

Alien Face!

Here is one leg all stretched out!

Profile picture

This is what's going on this week with the baby:

Fingerprints have formed on our baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If we're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Our baby is almost 3 inches long about the size of a peach and weighs nearly an ounce.

Week 12… and much more!

Last week was very busy! Mom and I drove up to Ohio to see Bridget & Bryan for the birth of their little one. We got into Columbus just in time to have some dinner with them and the Wesley family.

*Picture of the Grandmas to be!

Bridget was scheduled for a C-Section for Oct 5^th so we figured we had a few days to hang out… while at dinner, Bridget pulls out a pad of paper with times written on it. She had been having contractions since 2:00 that afternoon! Mom and I came into town just in time. She was only feeling slight cramps so no one (other than Bryan) was in a panic as of yet. After dinner we took some pictures (we needed belly pics together before hers was no more!).

*Picture of our bellies… Me at 11 weeks… Bridget at 39 weeks

After an evening of excitement Bridget decides to try and rest as much as she can before she goes to the hospital… that apparently didn’t go too well as she had Bryan drive her to the hospital at 2 am when things started to progress. Mom and I were informed (she waited to tell me after I got a little sleep) so we got ourselves ready for a long day in the waiting room. We stopped by Tim Hortons and picked up some doughnuts and bagels for everyone and anxiously made out way to OSU Medical Center. By the time I saw Bridget she had her epidural and look relieved!

OK so fast forward to 5:51pm and Erin (Bridget’s Sister) came into the waiting room to tell us the news. Although she scared most of us with her uncontrollable sobbing she was able to mutter… it’s a boy and he is perfect… so there we go, Baby Jacob Charles Hamilton was born Sept 30^th 2010 weighing 9lbs 12oz…

I was so very luck to be given the opportunity to photograph Jacob later that week. Here is the birth announcement I designed for them…

I was very sad to leave Ohio. I have such a great friend in Bridget and I hate living so far away. I do find comfort in knowing that she is only a phone call away. We make may trips so I know we never go too long without seeing one another but it’s always hard to wait…

On my last night there Bridget took my 12 week photo for me… only 28 more weeks until Baby Jacob gets a playmate :)

How our baby's growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Our baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if I prod my abdomen, our baby will squirm in response, although I won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in our baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, our baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs half an ounce.